i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
