I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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