Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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