Screwed.edu
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
