the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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