You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
