I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They are going to name an STD after you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
