Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
