the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
