it's like iHOP with fire
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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