i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she looked like the before picture.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
