Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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