There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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