I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Randomize
