Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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