my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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