(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you didnt know i had herpes?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
