you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
