I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
