Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize