no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
