What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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