I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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