sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
