He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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