Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
