Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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