morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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