separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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