arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I could fuck to npr.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
