we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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