some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
