You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
