If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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