So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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