I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The beer is more important than you right now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
