Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
