omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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