We won't sleep together?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
