I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
