DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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