Nicole vs. Life
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
