in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
