Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
