They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize