wrigley field is MILF paradise
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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