I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
