i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
