Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
