No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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