well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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