there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize