sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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