Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize