well I can't set my house on fire every night
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize